Of this, there can be no doubt. I share not one characteristic of a Vietnamese monk, other than being human and male, and that we are both trying to retain mindfulness. I strongly suspect he is farther along that path than I am, that he will be spending more of his day in that state than I will, that even from the outside he will be clearly more serene, with a simpler life, and presumably a calmer interior.
So as I read his words this morning, suggesting to that I take one entire day a week to be purely mindful, I wanted to skip over that entire chapter because it had nothing to do with me. It wasn’t that I “can’t” take an entire day of mindfulness, aside from the fact that I “can’t” maintain mindful attention to 10 breaths in a row. It was more that I “won’t” even try to do it, because I lack his commitment. Or such was the story I told myself. Might as well tell someone new at surfing to take an entire day simply riding big waves and not worry about anything else.
I am reminded of what I was told by a recovery friend who went on to become an actual Buddhist monk: “Try meditating for five minutes a day. And if you’re too busy for that, try 10 minutes.”
As for me, I am still at the very beginning stages of (re)starting a meditation habit. I am practicing a few basic things, like (sometimes) not turning on the phone or computer when I wake up; having one cup of coffee before sitting down to read; lighting a candle; and meditating until it feels right to stop.
I try to maintain focus on what I am currently doing, try to release the circus inside my head, try not to chase after all the thought-monkeys running and climbing and screeching. I try to stay calm, inside and out. And I try not to comment on how I am doing at any given moment.
Towards the end of my meditation this morning, I thought again about that monk. I imagined him on a cushion in some thatched-roof jungle cottage while I was on my wood chair in the city. We both had our circuses and monkeys, even if in different quantities. We were both focusing on our breaths. And so, we were in community. We were working together on something beyond our to-do list for the day, something that comes up from within and emanates peace, tranquility, focus and connection.
The monk and I are on the same path, both trying to let go of the idea that we are in different places, that we are different people, that there are any differences at all.
I don’ t know what the monk will do the rest of his day. I will go and work, and maybe go the gym, and move through my list with as much tranquility and connection as I can muster. And I will forgive myself and encourage myself, when I remember to. And I will remember that I am not doing it alone, that there are many of us trying to make ourselves and the world just a little more peaceful and compassionate, even while we are also shopping and cleaning and exercising and doing and thinking.
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