Here is something that does not happen in my life: When I am about to go on a trip, I do not say to myself, “During this trip, I will not meditate, or write in my journal, or go to a meeting, or eat particularly well, or exercise at all beyond walking around.”
And here is something that does happen in my life: Almost every time I go on a trip, I stop meditating, journaling, going to meetings, eating well or exercising. Another thing that happens is that by the end of almost every trip I go on, I am tired of being on that trip, and I tell myself I am tired of traveling and just want to go home.
Maybe what I really want is to get back to doing all those things that I quit doing, which give me such a sound basis for living life. The question, then, is why I quit doing all those things just because I am in another place? Meditating and writing require no special equipment; going to a meeting on a trip requires little more effort than going to one at home. What to eat remains a decision which I make, and like going to meeting, making a good decision requires only a bit more effort and planning. Exercising, as in going to the gym, could require just picking a hotel with a workout room and putting in the same hour or so I spend at home.
Here is another thing that often happens in my life: When I get back from a trip I admonish myself for getting out of all these habits when I travel. I take my fatigue, my behind-edness at work, my craving a simple healthy meal, and the higher number on the scale all as some kind of punishment which I deserve for the poor job I did on the trip.
And then I remember something that happens all the time during meditation, especially. It’s that moment when I realize I was completely lost in thought, fantasy, delusion, whatever, when you were “supposed” to be focusing on my breath. And I say to myself, “Wow, we were really gone for a second there. Let’s get back to the breath.” And the breath is always there, just like “home” and its routines are always there, wherever I wander off to.
Here is something else that does happen, occasionally in my life: self-forgiveness. And another: Letting go of the “shoulds” and accepting where I am, right now. Starting again. Living in the moment, not in the past or future. “Home” is here and now, wherever I am physically located. I meditate or I don’t. I journal or I don’t. I wander off into thought or I focus on my breath.
I’ve been on a lot of these trips lately. But I am home again, and so I will start again.
Leave a Reply